My pal Brian Palmer at thewashingmachinepost can not do it. Esther has not the faintest hope of ever being able to. I have been trying to do it but have not mastered it. So, that is three people with arts degrees unable to ride no handed. The thing is, we all have too much imagination for something that could end in disaster. Is there anyone with an arts background that can fight the flash of appalling  imagery that is going to be the certain consequence of lifting that last digit from the bar? I think not.

Imagination is not much of a blessing when you are driving along the M8 for an appointment to have slices taken out of your foot, particularly if you have stumbled across gory photos on the net of the same operation. I looked at loads of sites about Morton’s Neuroma and only one said the op was a synch so why am I trying to focus on just that one. It is statistically invalid but comforting.

My left foot

It is not a local anaesthetic as I had thought but a general and they took out two Neuromas, “just to be sure”. In ten weeks time I need to be ready to ride my touring bike for hours and hours. Positive thoughts and spectacular powers of recovery are needed and not too much imagination. Thanks for your kind words and birthday wishes.

One week on.

An Update-  Now it is 41/2 weeks after the operation and all the cuts have healed ( I do heal very quickly ). I could I think, if my life was on the line, now ride a bike. But not for long and it would hurt on the point of the cuts. It is brutal none complicated surgery – my surgeons words not mine.

So, would I recommend taking what is called the “nuclear option”. I think yes I would, but make sure that the guy with the knife is the best in the business. With 5 weeks to go I think I will be there on time. It has at times been a world of pain though it has to be said.

Morton’s Neuroma – A conclusion

It is now just under 9 weeks since surgery, so what has been the outcome? Well the first 2 weeks were terrible and with a tight deadline I really was in the depths of despair seeing very little hope because of the high levels of pain. I could not put my foot on the floor without the protective boot until a week. By the end of week 2 I could do 1 mile with 1 crutch and by week 3 I could go swimming which was great.

By the end of week 3 I put a shoe on and walked a few hundred meters but not nice at all. Week 5 I threw the crutches away and could walk up to 5 miles. At the end of these workouts the foot would be unhappy and send electic shocks up the leg – not nice at all, but progress was being made.

By week 7 I got my bike shoes on and did 23 miles which helped the recovery and was without pain. I think it would be another 3 weeks or so before I could run and I think I will be able to ride any distance on the bike now after 9 weeks. All is going well and the surgery costs about 600 pounds sterling and is money well spent for private treatment which means you get the best guy in the business at the end of the sharp knife.